Todd and Betty Sue Are Here!

A visit with my parents is like a coming-of-age, John Hughes movie: you laugh, you cry, there is a big fight, and, generally, there's a happy ending.

That said, I am noticeably more edgy today than usual. Even before they arrived, there has been drama about the hotel where they were supposed to stay in: we told them repeatedly not to stay there, they book reservations there, we tell them again today for shits and giggles that we don't think it's that nice a place, and they subtly ask us why we never told them this. Ahhh, it's been too long.

However, the drama that accompanies my parents goes much deeper than what is mentioned above. For years, a visit with them made me feel like I was constantly walking in a minefield: I wouldn't know what I was going to say, do, or what I had done to disappoint them. It could be as inconsequential as the restaurant I have chosen or the fact that I have "abandoned" them to be under my inlaws' sphere of influence. It was a rocky road and my marriage initially caused quite a few strains, but I think all of us have finally figured out a way to work together.

My family's MO has always been this: avoid upsetting each other by keeping things to yourself. I was raised in an environment where dishonesty was tolerated because it meant Papa wouldn't bite your head off. Since this was so fundamental in me, it was my MO for awhile, too. But, I decided awhile ago that life is too short to be dishonest with the people to whom you are the most close. If you can't be honest with them, what's the point? This change in my tact makes me feel better and, I think, has even changed my mom's manner with my wife and I. It makes the relationship easier and stronger and it gives everyone a chance to spend quality time together in the short time we have to be together.

Despite the history and my angst, I am really excited to see my parents. I'm probably going to have an adrenaline crash on Sunday, but it should be a wonderful weekend.