They Were Both in the Same Room; Where was the Meteor?

At the risk of violating our social lèse-majesté laws, I will just put this out there: I despise Oprah Winfrey. I think she is a narcissistic and shameless self-promoter who would wrap her own children in raw meat and feed them to a bear if she thought it would garner media attention. If one stops and thinks about, she has added very little value to the world and the areas where she has have been surrounded the pomp and circumstance of a Roman Emperor.

I haven’t always had such a loathing of Ms. Winfrey, however. It’s just her fairly recent validation of three repugnant characters: Jenny McCarthy, Suzanne Somers, and, just this week, Sarah Palin.Giving appearances to the first two is just irresponsible. Ms. McCarthy, whose claim to fame is spreading her legs for Hugh Hefner’s cameras, is a recent anti-vaccine crusader who blames her son’s autism on the Measles-Mumps-Rubella (MMR) vaccine. It is important to note that the assertion of a connection between the MMR vaccine and autism has been debunked several times over by reputable studies and that Ms. McCarthy’s son’s brain damage is more likely due to her prolonged inaction when he was experiencing febrile seizures. A fever can follow the receipt of this vaccine, as any pediatrician will tell you, but proper management of a fever probably could have avoided Ms. McCarthy’s son’s seizures and subsequent condition.

Being that it is much more convenient for Ms. McCarthy to blame someone else for her son’s condition rather than herself, Ms. McCarthy has embarked on her crusade and opportunistic figures like Ms. Winfrey have wasted no time in providing her an outlet. Ms. Winfrey has further insulted rationality by appeasing Ms. McCarthy’s absurd and intellectually lazy demand that no doctor (or anyone who would question her ridiculous assertions) appear with her when she pontificates. What a way to debate!

Ms. Winfrey’s confirmation of Suzanne Somers is just as short-sighted and dangerous. Ms. Somers’ latest offering to the masses is the idea that a positive attitude will cure breast cancer and that chemotherapy actually makes cancer worse. Nobody has to tell me how excruciating chemotherapy is and that in some cases its effects are, momentarily, worse than the cancer itself. But, to assert chemotherapy is nothing but a negative and that your attitude and diet (Suzanne Somers sells a suite of snake oil masqueraded as diet food) will be what cures your cancerous ails is stupid, if not disingenuous. Ms. Winfrey knows better and knows that perhaps thousands of women will follow this lemming off the cliff in denying themselves potentially life-saving treatment because they “saw on Oprah that it’s bad.”

The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was Monday’s appearance of Sarah Palin. Unlike the aforementioned who offer something (albeit something stupid), Mrs. Palin offers absolutely nothing. Oh wait, that’s not right, she offers a book which highlights the ultra-moral life she has chosen to live alongside blithering, yet stinging, insults of everyone who has given her anything short of glowing praise. This might be the best testament of Ms. Winfrey’s opportunism, as she is validating the self-proclaimed nemesis of all things Barack Obama, whom she supposes she anointed with her golden endorsement.

It’s hardly a surprise that an egoist and self-seeker like Oprah Winfrey would be able to resist someone like Sarah Palin. Every time she crawls out from under her rock to mouth-fart, she creates a media firestorm. Each new publicity stunt demonstrates that she is afraid of becoming irrelevant which, deep down, Ms. Winfrey fears, as well. While (God willing) it is possible that Sarah Palin may soon fade away permanently to obscurity, I doubt seriously this phobia will come true for Ms. Winfrey. It is a shame.

All Quiet on the Baby Front

As someone with a significant interest in military history, I have been wondering a lot lately about how it feels to be on the cusp of battle. As my wife is now full-term in the pregnancy of our daughter, I liken my current position to that of a general who is preparing for an epic battle. My opponent has mobilized his resources. I can only rely on patchy scouts' reports, but it appears as though he has positioned his heavy guns (head is down) and his troops are strategically amassed along the front (50% effaced). Once engaged, it's gonna be one helluva a firestorm.

Despite the relative calm and quality time I am spending with my co-commander, my adrenaline has been charged for about a week and remains so. Every call I get from my wife doesn't make it through the first ring and the one time I missed a call last week, in frantically dialing the "9-1-917" to call out to her cell phone, I accidentally called 911. Oops.

But, while his adrenaline is also at an all-time high, a good general, a seasoned general, remains the epitome of calm. He cannot let his troops see that his nerves are as shaky as theirs. As my wife is about to push a watermelon through a...you get the point...I must be the rock. When she looks me in the eye, I need to be able to tell her she will be alright and she needs to believe me. My calm and confidence will inspire her. A good general does the same for his troops.

More fundamentally, a good general has been spoiling for this fight. Every single moment of his life has contributed to this moment. Now-tangible fatherhood is no different. Despite never having seen her (with the exception of grainy ultrasound images) the love I have for this child is the most profound love I have ever had for anything. Gut-wrenching love. Love to which I am doing a disservice by trying to explain it. I owe it to this kid, my wife, and myself to be the best I can be. This is my time to shine.

This is my epic battle. I can't wait to hear the burst of the first cannons.

Everybody Gets A Trophy

One very large component of the legacy Baby Boomers are leaving is a phobia of accountability and a facility with "passing the buck". As the child of Boomer parents, I have frequently passed the buck throughout my life, with varying degrees of success. Now that I am about to become a father, however, I have noticed that this trait which we all exhibit from time to time has become a central tenet of our parenting philosophy. What's worse is that it has combined with our parental instincts to protect our children and has subsequently blinded us to our children's fallibility.

It has become a societal norm to blame our kids' mistakes and failures on someone else. When my neighbors' child was kicked out of day care, it was the day care center that was dysfunctional. Not that the only time their child engaged the other children was when she was biting them.

But, it doesn’t stop with looking for someone else to blame for your child’s poor behavior. We want to raise our children in a vacuum of positive affirmation. Doing this, however, sets them up for a world of disappointment - but only when they become adults.

Because by the time they are old enough to do anything competitive, they will be shielded from losing. The contest doesn't matter; everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season. When I was a kid, my lack of athletic ability put me on the Bad News Bears every season. As such, I never got a trophy. Not one. Today, however, it apparently isn't good for kids to lose. Neither is telling some kids they are gifted and some kids they are remedial. This social egalitarianism is going to come back and bite us when our kids grow up.

By shielding our children from criticism, accountability, and (dare I say it) failure, we are stymieing their competitive instincts and doing them a tremendous disservice. Because when you make it to the real world, only the very best get the job, promotion, or account. There is no trophy for coming in second (or third, fourth, fifth, or sixth). We are teaching our children that they are entitled to success even when they don't succeed. It is contrary to this country’s foundation and will only further dilute our global prowess.