Everybody Gets A Trophy

One very large component of the legacy Baby Boomers are leaving is a phobia of accountability and a facility with "passing the buck". As the child of Boomer parents, I have frequently passed the buck throughout my life, with varying degrees of success. Now that I am about to become a father, however, I have noticed that this trait which we all exhibit from time to time has become a central tenet of our parenting philosophy. What's worse is that it has combined with our parental instincts to protect our children and has subsequently blinded us to our children's fallibility.

It has become a societal norm to blame our kids' mistakes and failures on someone else. When my neighbors' child was kicked out of day care, it was the day care center that was dysfunctional. Not that the only time their child engaged the other children was when she was biting them.

But, it doesn’t stop with looking for someone else to blame for your child’s poor behavior. We want to raise our children in a vacuum of positive affirmation. Doing this, however, sets them up for a world of disappointment - but only when they become adults.

Because by the time they are old enough to do anything competitive, they will be shielded from losing. The contest doesn't matter; everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season. When I was a kid, my lack of athletic ability put me on the Bad News Bears every season. As such, I never got a trophy. Not one. Today, however, it apparently isn't good for kids to lose. Neither is telling some kids they are gifted and some kids they are remedial. This social egalitarianism is going to come back and bite us when our kids grow up.

By shielding our children from criticism, accountability, and (dare I say it) failure, we are stymieing their competitive instincts and doing them a tremendous disservice. Because when you make it to the real world, only the very best get the job, promotion, or account. There is no trophy for coming in second (or third, fourth, fifth, or sixth). We are teaching our children that they are entitled to success even when they don't succeed. It is contrary to this country’s foundation and will only further dilute our global prowess.