Communication

G's diagnosis is tricky; in the beginning, even among the best pediatric neurosurgeons and neuro-oncologists, there was no consensus on what her MRI was showing. In fact, her neurologist has even posited that the lesion might be a manifestation of some mysterious condition in her brain, not the cause of her cognitive issues, as everyone else seems to think.

Regardless, a lot with her is an uphill battle. Her little brain just works differently than ours. She sees the world completely different than we do, but she is capable of making beautiful, brilliant connections. She has a photographic and seemingly endless memory. I am sometimes in awe of her intelligence. She's a sweet kid and scrappy as hell. I might even say she's my hero.

One of the areas where we struggle, however, is communication. She knows what she wants to say, but the wiring in her brain can't get that information along the channels and out of her mouth. She tries so hard to tell us what she's trying to tell us, but she can't and gets frustrated. The frustration leads to tantrums which makes it even harder for her to process. 

When this happens, I watch R. She absorbs the vitriolic frustration like rubber absorbing lightening. Her patience doesn't budge. She will offer alternative after alternative, determined to solve the mystery as G descends further into the tantrum. In those moments, she's my hero.

G's diagnosis notwithstanding, she gets her impatience and more extreme frustration from me. As I am merely human without cognitive processing issues, I used to get frustrated in these situations. You can only imagine it made things worse. Maybe that's how R honed her craft.

Today, though, was different. I rode the tantrum out. I offered alternatives. I stayed in there. I was determined to crack the case.

Eventually we did, albeit with a little help from R, and everyone was happy. I'm sure it will happen again - in fact, it did before bedtime tonight - but we will get through it and solve the mystery like we always do. 

It made me think about people in general and how we communicate with each other. Look at the people around you. Can you talk to them? Can you convey a message and can they receive it? I'm sure most if not all of you can, but how many of us would say we have "communication issues" with our spouses/partners, friends, parents, siblings, coworkers, etc? Are our issues more about our own will, or lack thereof, to communicate?

I would say yes. There's a lot I want to say to a lot of people, but I don't because I don't want to be "confrontational". But, the fact of the matter is, I can communicate my feelings, whatever they are, whenever I choose, and sometimes I do. But, the times I don't are wasted opportunities and, in some cases, I might not even get the chance to communicate that feeling to that person ever. 

Shouldn't I look at G, a girl with plenty to say, but without the ability to fully express it, and be eternally grateful for my ability to communicate my feelings and desires? Shouldn't I express this gratitude by leveraging this capacity every chance I get so that everyone in my life is not left in the dark about my aforementioned feelings and desires? I would say so. I would say you should, too.